Friday, December 23, 2011

New Year Resolutions Part 1

1. Build my Marketing Career by research and presentations
2. Get all my lecturers in line
3. Learn to swim starting January
4. Move to a new, bigger place in February
5. Get involved in a church group that meets at least once a week
6. Get involved in a school club that meets regularly
7. No relationships or anything relationship related for the next 15 months until I'm done with school
8. Figure out a way to get to where I belong
9. Get sports shoes and cute work out gear and walk at least 20 minutes every day

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

End Year Recap...Love

I just saw this movie on Solomon, from the Bible, and right after he’s anointed king, his older brother Adonijah (who had already assumed he would be king) flees the city and goes to grab the horns of the altar, which symbolized the presence of God. In this way, no one could kill him. Solomon comes up behind him and says,

“I will not live in fear, kill me now if that is your plan, otherwise go home and never challenge God’s will again.”

The actual verse is,
“Solomon said, “If he is a loyal subject, not a hair of his head will be harmed, but if he is found to be a traitor, he will die.” (1Kings 1:52 [NET])

The movie line just sounded so cool and it resonated with me, just in the sense that if you know you’re going to get bad news, just go ahead and get it immediately and deal with the situation rather than lie to yourself and/or others and delay the pain.


So, I’ve been friends with this guy I met at my internship and honestly I have no complaints, he’s a great guy and I think I’m pretty great myself, hehe, what I mean is, for once in my life, I don’t feel the pressure of having to be good enough.

Me and this guy, talked about whether we could build something out of our friendship. We went on a couple of dates, the KFC opening, plays, movies, lunches, you know the usual. As much as I enjoyed going out on dates, really for the first time, it wasn't really working. I think I'm at that place where I kinda need to focus on myself, and also, I'm not over my ex and all the baggage that relationship gave me. I'm at that place where I'm struggling to let go of him and it wouldn't be fair to put someone through me wanting to rebound.

It's trick, because obviously I want to be in love and I want to not search anymore and I want to go on dates and be treated, well, like a girlfriend and not just a friend, like holding hands and exchanging those cutesy looks and being open with someone. This was just not the right time. I'm glad though because after my break-up I honestly felt like I wouldn't ever be able to love again, but I'm glad this opened me up to the possibility of love.

I’m held by the fact that I’ve learnt a lot about myself. I started out the year thinking how I can’t ever love anyone else again, but I can, and I can do a really good job at it. Now it’s just waiting for the guy who’ll love me and who I'll love back, and who we’ll be perfect for each other.

More than that, my perspective has changed from, “God, give me a guy to love” to, “God, help me sort out me and us and my life, school, work, friends, MY life, then everything else will just fall into place.” You see that? For the first time in my life, I’m thinking about me and my happiness above an external relationship. If I don’t care about me, who will?

Anyway, so that’s what’s been going on. Pinched but grown.


Monday, December 5, 2011

Out of Balance

Guys, I am exhausted! I just have been feeling so overwhelmed, like I can burst into tears at the drop of a hat. I've been really considering going back and doing therapy, like last year. It's just that I recognize where I've been and where I am now, is just headed there.

Among many other issues, there's the whole School thing. A couple of my ex-classmates graduated from their school and for me it seems so far away, and there's just so many hurdles that I'll have to go through to get there and I just don't know what to do or where to start. It's definitely my biggest stressor, and once that gets sorted I'll probably be o.k.

Another thing is just that, I wanted my life to head in a certain direction. and I felt like, you know this is it, I've made it till here and finally I can sort of enjoy just being happy and have everything be at a good place, but it's just not happening and it's sort of an uncontrollable situation. All I truly ever want is to be happy, and happiness is an elusive b***** I'm just at a loss.

Last is that I'm just tired. I wish I could have like a holiday or a trip to some relaxing place, and just be catered for and relax...unfortunately, that's not happening any time soon, so I'm just here.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

The Big Bright Future

Since recently, I've been getting a little panicky about the future. Like if I'll get a good job, if I'll be rich or middle income, if I'll have this house of my dreams, if I'll have a great husband and family, if I'll be a good wife and mom, if my kids will have everything they want.

I guess it's because I have in 3 semesters I will officially be kicked out of my momma's nest and be on my own. It's like the money I make for my job will be for my survival and not for saving and shopping :-) Don't get me wrong, I still make money and I like to think I'm responsible with it, and I have a little bit of a firm grasp on reality, but it's nice to know that I have a soft place to land if things don't work out.

Also, I have this desire to have not only an awesome job, but to also do something on the side that'll bring me money and that I'm totally passionate about. I don't think it's realistic to rely on being employed in the long run, a side haussle is important too.

There are honestly so many things to know and so many decisions to be made, and I want to sort everything out one at a time, because I know if IU wait till then I'll be overwhelmed. Honestly, I have no idea how people get through life without believing in God, because I cannot live with this anxiety of my life being in my hands. I could honestly go crazy.

How did you guys find the transition from being sheltered college kid to total independence?


Wednesday, November 9, 2011


Have you guys heard of MyMemories? I seriously cannot get enough of this. I'm not really the artsy, creative types, but this  makes it a lot easier. I don't usually put up pics of mine on the blog, but this is seriously changing my mind, so all next week I'm going to be putting up random pics in my scrapbooks so you guys see what I'm talking about.

All I needed was 10 minutes.

1. Choose an embellishment or paper
2. You can start with a blank page, but like I said, I'm not really artsy so I went with a template
3. Add your pictures, and voila! All done.

You can see some creations here

So, two things I'm going to do thanks to the lovely people at My Memories

As a special for all of my special readers, I'm giving you a Share the Memories code that provides a $10 discount off the purchase of the My Memories Suite Scrapbook software and a $10 coupon for the store - $20 value!) All you have to do is click this link HERE or ( enter the code below

What's a giveaway post, without a giveaway??? In addition to the discount you could get with the code above, I'm also giving a lucky winner a free download of  the My Memories Suite, so you could keep adding pictures to your scrap books and making new scrap books for every major and minor photo sesh you have. 
All you have to do is:
1.  Go to the My Memories site and choose their favorite digital paper pack or layout. 
2.  Leave a comment on my blog telling me which ones you like.
3.  For extra chances to win, follow MyMemories on Facebook, Twitter or their blog and let me know on a separate comment. 
4. Follow me on twitter, that's @MissRaha or like my Facebook Page, or follow my blog, again let me know on a separate comment.

Have Fun!!


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The T-Word

I'm a research girl. Like, if I have a problem, I will Google and read the hell out of it. So, lately I've been reading a lot about trust. Love and sweetness is all good in a relationship, but definitely trust is the backbone of any relationship.

So, here are some tips I found about building trust in a relationship

1. Be truthful, don't lie about the small stuff, it adds up

2. Be reliable, let your actions match your words

3. Set boundaries

4. Be trusting, innocent until proven guilty

5. Be fair, don't be imposing, jealous or naggy

6. Be trustworthy, treat your lovvah (hehehe) like you would want to be treated

7. Be calm, be a rock that can be leaned on

8.Talk about everything

Most importantly,


Team Player

I will be the first to admit, I was not a team player. I felt I had valid reasons. I could work faster alone, I didn;t have to compromise or take direction, I could just be. I hate that version of myself, honestly, I doin;t know how people could stand me then. I was proud and arrogant.
Right now, I'm proud to say I am a team player. It's simply a matter of realizing confidence doesn't relate to arrigance. There are two mistakes people make when it comes to being in a team. 

One is, thinking you're always right and not wanting to listen to the opinions of others. When this happens, you just have to take a minute and consider someone's plan or perspective and not jump down their throat. This was me, like if we had group discussions for an assignment, I would skip the meetings and email work that I'd done single-handedly.

Two is, not putting yourself out there enough because you feel like your ideas will be shot down. This is also me at points. The best way to handle this, is to come heavily prepared, if you truly believe something should be done in a certain way to be successful, present, defend and do it.

I think those are the biggest lessons I've learnt this week.
Any suggestions?

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

College Pancakes

Hey Guys,
Yesterday I saw some pancakes on TV and had a crazy craving, only thing is I only had flour in my little pantry. No eggs, no milk, nothing else that ordinarily goes into pancakes. So, I headed to the shops to buy some baking powder/soda (don't ask me why I didn't just buy milk and eggs as well)

Anyway, as a college student living in a tiny apartment with no fridge and little disposable income, I'm on the search to find ways to make home-cooked classics on the cheap, and with ingredients that will keep relatively well, fridgeless. Introducing my first in this line of recipes.....

  • 1 Cup White Baking Flour
  • ¾ Cup Water
  • 3 Tablespoons Sugar
  • ½ Teaspoon Baking Soda
  • 2 Teaspoons Baking Powder
  • ¼ Teaspoon Salt
  • 1 ½ Tablespoons Margarine
  • 1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract

  1. 1.       Sift all the dry ingredients together, all except the sugar. It makes the pancakes airy and soft.
  2. 2.       Add the sugar.
  3. 3.       Add vanilla and margarine and half the water and whisk together.
  4. 4.       Gradually add the rest of the water until thick, but pouring consistency.
  5. 5.       Heat frying pan, under high heat but reduce it to medium-low. I used margarine, but you could use whatever your heart desires.

N.B Make sure you oil the pan for each pancake, they will get stuck if you don’t.
N.B These pancakes are really soft and fluffy and will break apart if you make them too big.



Monday, October 24, 2011


One thought has been on my mind for the past two days. I can deal with a lot, but I don’t know how I can deal with losing a loved one to a terrorist or a murderer. Knowing that my loved one was killed as a part of someone else’s cause that we had nothing to do with. Knowing that my loved one is gone while the person who killed them is walking the streets.

I’ve dealt with death before, but I just can’t deal with that sort of pain, or rather anger. What emotion do you even choose for that? Do I grieve; do I give in to the anger?

I just heard on the news that a grenade went off at O.T.C. buss terminus. I pass by there every day. People I know walk there. One person dead, more than 10 rushed to hospital. I am happy and grateful that I haven’t heard any bad news. But there are hundreds of people who by the end of this night will have.
People going about their days, trying to rush home. And these heinous acts of terror that none of us want to be a part of got in the way.

I can’t deal. Tonight I’m teary eyed and scared.


As I’ve grown up, mostly over the past year or so, all I’ve wanted or searched for is contentment. You know those moments when you’re full and healthy and you almost want to take a picture of that moment and frame it so you always remember how it felt.

I was talking to my sister a couple of days ago and she told me how when she met her husband, she didn’t want to deal with any of the drama that came with her past relationships and she didn’t feel the need to try so hard.

I’ve always wanted to have that. A relationship where you don’t have to constantly police your partner. Worried about where they are, what they’re doing, who they’re with. It’s a hell of a scary thing trusting someone with your heart. Personally, my biggest fear is being blind-sided, you know what I mean, being happy and in love and then suddenly the other person hates you, and leaves you for no apparent reason.

That’s what I’m trying to do, or to be like from now on. Trust that whoever I’m going out with knows as much as I do how lucky we are to have found each other, and appreciates not only that fact, but also appreciates me.

Ideally. I think I have a lot of love in my heart and I’d want to give all that away…there’s always part of you that doesn’t want to give 100% because it’s too much to get hurt when you’ve given it you’re all.
It’s crazy. The world is insane and I wish love didn’t have to be complicated as well.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Another Day, Another Shilling...Nairobi, Kenya

So, I'm doing my first link-up for Kelly's blog...hope you like it :-)

So, I woke up today to the coldest morning ever and luckily for me I don't have class on Monday...a perpetual 3 day weekend. I don't know exactly what to write, so I'll just give you some quick facts about Nairobi.

  • We have a brand new KFC which opened a couple of months ago...I say this first because someone was supposed to take me to KFC this weekend, and someone didn't HINT! :-)

Source: via Tammy on Pinterest

  • We used to have the coolest form of transportation, called matatus, like a totally pimped out, 14-seater van with the works...big screen T.V, top of the line stereo system, screens in the windows, amazing artwork....but they were scrapped and now, you'd rather just use the bus...

  • We have a pretty shot political system, but that's a whole other story...
  • We have mostly gorgeous weather...
  • The economic downturn is finally catching up to us, but that's a whole other story...
  • They're are really pretty women here...
  • It's pretty safe and calm, pretty much an ordinary city, contrary to what you see in movies...
  • Obama's grandmother lives here
  • Common language is English mixed in with Kiswahili
  • I was born here
  • People are mostly friendly, sometimes a little too friendly...
  • It's really fun to live here...

  • It's a great place to raise your kids...

  • There are like 3 Churches in each one-block radius

  • It's probably the only city in the world with a National Park 10 minutes from the Central Business District, that's our skyline in the background

  • We have amazing jewellery....and a mostly great fashion sense

  • We make great beer, had to mention that because this was my job for three months...

Source: via Blake on Pinterest

Hope you liked it...


Thursday, October 13, 2011

Accent Vlog

OK, so, I've seen this floating around the web and I thought it might be fun to do. Born and raised in Nairobi, there's not really an accent you can call a "Kenyan accent" It pretty much depends on what community you were born in, and where you live. Even in Nairobi, it depends on where yo u live, where you went to school and stuff. 

I have never done this before and I was kinda nervous, so ignore the rocking back and forth :-) also the color on my Dell Webcam is pretty bad.

The instructions are to say these words:

Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught

And answer these questions:

What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
What is the bug that when you touch it, it curls into a ball?
What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
What do you call gym shoes?
What do you say to address a group of people?
What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
What do you call your grandparents?
What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
What is the thing you use to change the TV channel?
Your turn.


Monday, October 3, 2011


"Life is too short not to pin!"

Wait, before you jump down my throat, I was as much of a pinterest critic as you are. I thought it was over-hyped and the whole apply and wait to be accepted thing was to me a bit pretentious. But once I got in...(yayy!) (when you "get in" to anything it always feels like such an accomplisment, lol) anyway, once I got in and got the hang of it, I was promptly addicted.

You can pin anything, anything from anywhere on the internet. I have boards for everything (a board is a collection of related pins) I have boards of how I want to decorate my house, my future kids rooms, i have a board for recipes to try and quotes and cartoons. I probably shouldn't say this but I think Pinterest has made me a more interesting friend, I always have some quote or some idea to share with my friends.

Not to mention how easy Pinterest makes it for bloggers to embed pictures in posts!!!

All I can say is, Long Live Pinterest!


It's Today!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Brew House

Just got back from a little field trip down to the factory at this place I'm was really crazy a million things going on at the same time, but it was kind of awesome because you see this stuff on the store shelves everyday. I got to have a behind the scenes look.

So, not that any of you is interested, but this is what I got from my little tour...and no I'm not sharing any recipes or secret ingredients, just don't quote me on this or try this at home and say some blogger told you. Basically I don't take any responsibility/liabilty and this is more for my own recollection than anything else.

First we have barley, malt or sorghum from the silos that's heated up, dried and cracked so we can have those fine enzymes that we're gonna need to grab sugar out of. There's a machine for that...I can't remember what its called...

Then, we go to mashing. Here we mix the grounded up barley with hot water, this activates the enzymes to start releasig the sugar. (The logic behind this is that grains are starch, and starch broken down brings sugar). After this we drain the water from the mash which is now full of sugar. This drained mash is called wort...

Third, now we have our wort, which is boiled for about an hour (different times depending on the brand). We also have hopps at this stage which is a sort of bitter spice added at different intervals during this process.Hopps is also a natural preservative.

Fourth, after the spicy wort is all heated up, its cooled, strained and filtered.Then they're led to a series of sealed tanks where yeast is added to them...the yeasting process is also a process, because you buy a small amount of yeast and you have to sort of multiply it...yeast can be recycled and used up to 8 times. At this oint the brewing is over and fermentation depends, which also varies brandwise in time. But since we make lager, the temperatures have to be very cool...(ales are at room temp) Fermenting basically is the yeast breaking down the sugar and releasing carbon dioxide and alcohol.

Now we've got the "bright" which is basically alcohol thats flat and at too high an alcohol level, so we carbonate it and dilute it to whatever level the brand requires.

I'm sure I'm missing a step, but we go to packaging. Empties are de-palleted, de-cased, washed in tons of levels of detergent...inspected, de-labelled, re-inspected...its a process, then the liquid is filled in and crowned, then re-inspected for over/under filling or missing crowns.

Then there's pasteurization where basically the botles are sprayed with gallons of hot water to make sure anything that could be classified as bacteria is killed and the liquid is safe for human consumption.

Then we head to the labelling. The batch number is also put in at this stage and you can trace every detail about the liquid, down to who the person incharge of that batch was.

Then the bottles are cased, palleted in stacks of 6 and taken to the warehouse.

Ok, I think thats generally what I got from my little tour. It was totally fun and I can tell you firsthand what you see on the shelves in restaurants and stores as 1000000% high quality stuff.

But, sober girl that I am, I'd go with the donut, lol!


Monday, September 26, 2011

An Ode to the Best Job in the World

This is the last week of my internship, and I can honestly say I had the best 3 months of my life. I remember one of my co-workers telling me, this job would change my life. Apart from adding one big, fat paragraph to my resume, a lot of other amazing events have happened.

First, I understood exactly what it is to have a desk job. .

Second, I realized that I didn't want a desk job for the rest of my life, and I decided to not only have my finance/accountancy under my belt but to also get sales/purchasing and supply credentials in the next year or so. I am so psyched about this and I feel like it's an area that I'm really/have always been passionate about but I've never had the cahunas to step out of my sister's shadow and the path she carved out to do it.

Third, I made amazing friends and I truly have something to look forward to coming back here next year, God-willing.

Fourth, a million hours of free internet...need I say more.

Fifth, a confidence boost I definitely needed..

Sixth, some extra shopping/road trip money...

I will really, truly miss this job, the people I met and the fun I had. On the other hand I am so happy and thankful that I got this chance and I look forward to what the future has to hold. 


Sunday, September 25, 2011

Lesson on E.S

Lately I've been thinking about how to argue effectively. Yeah, I know I should be thinking of how to love better, how to make my relationships last longer or that kind of stuff and I do, but arguing is important too.

Think about it, a healthy, happy, fun relationship should be composed of two individual people with their own sets of values, beliefs, opinions, wants, needs and preferences. Those might ideally match, but they won't ever be exactly the same. Differences arise and you need to figure out how to solve them.

In the past, I'd try as much as possible to avoid confrontation, mostly because I feared judgement and I didn't want to be a nag etc. As a result, I was really, really, really unhappy. At the end my relationship wasn't the better for it, in fact at the end my complacency and being a door-mat and in his words, being a "people-pleaser" is what made it end so badly.

Arguing with your loved one doesn't mean you hate them. Think about it. You like a certain hat, but he doesn't like it when you wear it.

"You selfish scumbag, I can wear whatever the hell I please"

"Babe, I love you but I like this hat and unless you have a valid reason why I can't wear it, I'm wearing it"

Response 1, gets you in a huge fight. Response 2, makes it a safe place to air your opinions, and he might actually be saving you from looking like an idiot going to work in a floppy sun-hat and jeans.

So, Emotion Seperation, or as I like to call it, E.S means remembering this line, "I'm angry now, but I have to keep in mind that I love this guy, and this silly argument won't matter 2 years from now." Luckily if you are being too demanding, your guy will be rude suicidal unfair honest enough to tell you, you're being too persistent.


Sunday Snippets

Today started out pretty bad, with a stupid nightmare/panic attack...but quickly picked up after a couple of sweet gestures from my family...such as my mom making me a toasted ham sandwich for breakfast.

Church was amazing as usual. The worship was great, the drummer was on point especially during this Damita Haddon song, "It all belongs to you" Wow, that band has crazy talent.

The sermon was a wrap up of this months series, "Whatcha Momma Didn't Teach You About Money" which I have to buy and listen to over and over again. Four points were covered, lets see if I can remember them,

Free your heart
Don't work for money

O.K I blanked, you just have to go to the website to find out. I was totally inspired by every interview I saw this past month, not just because they're all millionaires, but because these are people making money out of living their dreams, not working for money. Also because, they'e ordinary people who started with ordinary means.

I pray quite a bit, and one of the things I pray for that me and my future hubz won't be in our 30's 40's in the same old job, working for the same old bosses, relying on that same old pay check to take us to the next month. Instead we'll fond something we're both passionate about and have that up and running and successful. In the words of Pastor M, "There's no virtue in being poor."

In the meantime, I have a little project that I'm working on that is hopefully going to be a little fun and exciting and hopefully make a profit. Just working on some proposals and trying to sort the fine print with my business partner so to speak...I can't wait to tell you all about it. How was your weekend?


Saturday, September 24, 2011


I've mentioned before how much I love weddings and how I'm the girl who spends hours fantasizing about weddings despite the fact that I'm still very much single...

There's just something about weddings that is so magical and romantic, and I dont think it's wrong for me anyone to think about it. Think about it, if you're lucky, you'll only get married once, so plan it to the full and milk all the benefits you can out of it.

So, if you're on Pinterest and you see how most of my Pins are on wedding ideas, you'll know why.

Any one like me out there? Even better, any one plannng a wedding or who has planned a wedding, any advice on patience and how to wait for the right guy and not give up would be greatly appreciated.


Friday, September 23, 2011

Love Is

Love is.....

....a 2 minute phone call with no words, just laughing till you cry.

Just after I went on about how amzing the weather was and how strident blue the sky was, it got all humid and oppressively hot and this could only spell one thing...rain!!!

It's my mum's birthday today! Happy Birthday mummy! I love you sooo much even though I sometimes dont show it especially after we get into our arguments...but honestly, I would be lost without you. I's cliche but I just have to say, you are my anchor, when the winds of life, love and work blow me every which way, I'm so lucky I can always run home to you. God Bless You!

Speaking of birthdays, doing some serious brainstorming on what I can buy a really close friend if mine for his 26th birthday next week...any ideas?


Don't Freak Out...It's Still Me!!!

Yeah, the blog looks very different...not only looks, but is...with a new name and everything....

I've been talking so much about how I've changed, how I want the blog to be a reflection of that, so this is the new fun, flirty, feminine, home-maker, pretty girl, amazing girl (friend) side of me, with the bright colors and girly fonts and everything.

The new blog description is from the Skillet song, Awake and Alive. Such a great song for a new day/ new beginning...

I debated whether or not to bury 20th Paradigm and start all over again, but this blog already has so many memories that have kind of shaped me immensely, so I didn't want to lose that.

20th Paradigm was such a mouthful of a name, is so much easier to tell your friends, right :-)

Don't get me wrong, I kinda figure all my blogs are umbrellad under that one big name, 20th Paradigm, my business will probably be called 20th Paradigm, but that's a ways down the road....

Hope you like it so far and that you join me in this ride.

The new blog description is from the Skillet song, Awake and Alive. Such a great song for a new day/ beginning...


Taking It Back

........I’m on my way back home
Already packed my bags can’t wait to get home
Clear everything else away
Don’t wanna do nothing else but walk my way, I’m going
Back to Kenya, back to the fine weather
Back to grandma, ain’t nothing else I’d rather
Sit on the porch and drink grandma’s porridge
Talk to my elder, listen while they speak knowledge...........

This song says it all! September is here, and as much a Pastor M said at Church that if you don't like the cold/rainy weather it shows just how you're not invested in Agriculture....or something like that....I love September weather..the sky is gorgeously blue, its infririatingly hot and dusty but still, it's bright and cheery and I like it. (Just as long as I'm indoors and away from the heat between 11 a.m. and 4 p.m.)

So here for your listening pleasure is Stella Mwangi (STL) coming back to this beautiful country with absolutely fly weather.


Monday, September 19, 2011

New Life Lessons

So, over the last couple of days, I have learnt that I have a very short temper and I get mad at the smallest of things really easily.

But, today I pledge to make a conscious decision on what my reactions will be to every day decisions. Will I get angry and storm off or go silent on people, no. What I will do is stop, take a breath, try to see if the action deserves that level of reaction, and move from there.

I also learnt that people need to talk about stuff, not just assume the other party knows what their thinking. It's an unfair and unrealistic expectation that leads to arguments and resentment. Most problems can be solved by a nice sit down and the freedom and the safety and the trust it takes to be completely honest with someone.

I also learnt that my family is very different from others. When I grew up, voices were loud and emotions and thought were scattered. Other people, not so much...I can't change who I am, I'm the girl that talks too much, and over-analyzes her thoughts and feelings. I have to try and make a conscious effort to realize that not everyone can be like that...and even when people are sweet and gracious enough to listen and even understand me, I should try to take a breath and tone it back a little.

Anyway, I'm thankful for patient friends and family, and a chance to learn and grow more comfortable in being myself without fear of being judged or punished...thankyou and I love you!


Monday, September 12, 2011

Just For Fun

I found this cute little questionnaire online that I was planning on doing.....

  1. What are your middle names?
  2. How long have you been together?
  3. How long did you know each other before you started dating?
  4. Who asked who out?
  5. How old are each of you?
  6. Did you go to the same school?
  7. Are you from the same home town?
  8. Who is the smartest?
  9. Who majored in what?
  10. Who is the most sensitive?
  11. Where do you eat out most as a couple?
  12. Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
  13. Who has the worst temper?
  14. How many children do you want?
  15. Who does the cooking?
  16. Who is more social?
  17. Who is the neat-freak?
  18. Who is the most stubborn?
  19. Who wakes up earlier?
  20. Where was your first date?
  21. Who has the bigger family?
  22. Do you get flowers often?
  23. How do you spend the holidays?
  24. Who is more jealous?
  25. How long did it take to get serious?
  26. Who eats more?
  27. What do you do for a living?
  28. Who does the laundry?
  29. Who’s better with the computer?
  30. Who drives when you are together?
  31. What is "your" song?

Cute, right? I'll see whether I can get to do it at some point in the near future.



Thursday, August 25, 2011

A Couple of Tears and A Whole Bunch Of Food Later.....

So after my downer of a post a couple of days ago, today I had to make the a big decision. Do I really want to be that girl eating Chocolate eclairs in bed scared to watch a sappy movie because I could end up in tears any minute? Or do I want to be that fiercely independent, smoking hot, not a care in the world woman that I always dreamed of being.

Life has never, nor will ever be perfect. Bad things happen to good people. Diseases ravage innocent bodies. Earthquakes happen. Divorces happen to the most promising couples (on that note, God please help Will and Jada Smith, not break up, they're the success story of Hollywood couples)

Point is, we can't curl up in a ball and die at the first sign of trouble. More often than not, we go through pain and we come out on the other side better from it.

As much as I say this, I'm not looking forward to the pain at all...and the tears are there but they're just not coming out, and I'm sure they will at the worst moment, but I just have to keep reminding myself of...hehehe...Gilmore Girls. You remember that episode in Season 5, where Rory just broke up with Dean, the love of her life, heck the love of my life (he was so cute) moving on...Rory was excited and in love, and 2 seasons later she's crying on the bathroom floor. Such is love.

But look what happenned in Season 8, Rory found it totally worth it to get up from that bathroom floor...

Anyway, in other and much more cheery news, I am officially a Pinner...a pinterester...a pinterested person...anyway I am a memeber of Pinterest!!!! Can't wait to see what I find on there.

And on a final note, I may be the biggest idiot when it comes to life but I am the biggest genius on the face of the planet when it comes to work...lets just say I rocked today...ROCK STAR!!!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


Today is just one of those days that I honestly feel like flipping off the entire planet, locking mysef in my apartment, turning up the stereo and forgetting that the rest of the world exist.

Considering I did just flip off a coworker, I need to vent!

So, I'm angry...GRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Sometimes it's easy to put yoursself in overwhelming situations, say yes to everyone and everything just for the sake of avoiding confrontation or because you feel it will make life easier at that particular moment in time.

For example, today I gave a cleaning lady at work money for a fund raising at her church, not that its a bad thing to be generous, but I dont know anything about what they were raising money for, and she said she'd give me a card worth the amount of money I gave her and that didnt happen either. She's just been following me since last week and giving her money was easier than avoiding her forever. That makes me angry.

I'm angry that my caretaker isn't installing my new instant hot water shower head like he was supposed to months ago and now I have to wake up half an hour earlier to warm up water for a bath.

I'm angry that people can blatantly take credit for work that I did, and not show any appreciation whatsoever when I've gone out of my way.

I'm angry that I have to do that stupid CPA Paper yet again.

I'm angry that I feel like I haven't slept in days.

I'm angry for life's complications, and that life isn't as easy as being able to get what you want when you want it*

I'm angry that I still miss my dad.

I'm angry that I live in a tiny apartment, and I'm starting to get claustrophobic.

I guess I've been angry at a lot of things for a while, but I've been reluctant to show anger toward anyone...or infront of anyone...but I'm thankful for this blog where at least I can come to vent, and ease off some of this pressure. Get in touch with my feelings and all that..I feel better now, not thaat much better, but whatever's left can hopefully be resolved by a hot bath (grrr!!! not shower!!!) and passion fruit yoghurt.

Monday, August 22, 2011


At the end of yet another exhausting work day, I got home to find a black out...this sucked for two reasons, firstly I had a couple of new DVDs I wanted to watch, and secondly, I was having one of those nights where you just dont want to be alone with your thoughts.

Alone with my thoughts I was and I'm happy because it gave me a chance to think a little and clear my head.
Life has just been sort of speeding past me and I'm living in the moment, which isnt necessarily a bad thing, but it's nice once in a while to step back and plan a little.

Some of the stuff I was sorting through my head were:

> school...I'm debating whether to sit for my CPA Papers this December or skip them all together and focus on my degree, especially considering final exams may clash and I might end up having to pick one over the other...

> internship has been amazing so far, but its slowly but surely coming to an end, and I have to start planning for life after here. I love working and it's going to be tough goin back to not working, so I have to figure out if I want to do that or get another job, or whatever. Also, as long as I'm here I have to keep trying to be at the top of my game...figure out what my strengths and weaknesses have been.

> love...don't get me started....
Anyway, that's a little bit of what's been going on...

Saturday, August 20, 2011

This One's For Mich

Here's one for Michelle.

My second year of High School, she was the new girl, who just happenned to be my new roomate. The first time I met her, I judged her as being one heck of a snob, and she knows this and she admits to being one. As time went by I tried to avoid her as much as possible, and she made friends of her own, and we lived paraallel lives. A few months later though, after a huge fight with one of my friends, she was there and talked me through it and I knew I had to be her friend.

Thus began the competition between my other roomate and I on who will be Michelle's best friend, and being the drama queen (like me) that she is, she loved it. But after a while, all three of us got to be really great friends...our friendship was LEGENDARY and I'm sure people are still talking about it.

When we got out of school, none of us had phones, and Michelle was very anti-facebook, so we lost touch for a couple of months, but when we found each other again...everything was as perfect as ever and we grew closer than before.

Skip ahead past all the boy drama, shopping trips, periods of silence, arguments, being fed up with each other, (mostly her of me), to two years ago when my dad died. I called up Michelle, and within an hour she was at my door...she dropped everything to be there for me. She stood by me as guests came and went, she held my hand, she got into an argument with my cousin because he stole my dads watch and wore it that day, she came with me to the funeral, all the way out of town in a stuffy squeezed car, when I finally broke down and cried she was there to catch me as I fell. She was amazing that day, and no matter what I do I can never repay her for that day.

Skip forward a couple of yeras, when I was stuck in the most horrible of horrible relationships and she was always there to lecture my then boyfriend and finally force me to end that naaaasty thing.

Anyway, there plenty more stories to come, and I can't wait to sip wine and watch our kids play together and our husbands burn the meat.

I love you bestie, you're more than my best friend, you're my sister and I wish you nothing but the best.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

New Beginings

I've been looking over my old posts and I cannot believe how much I've changed over the past couple of months. I'm really glad I had this sort of platform to journal my life because I can look back on the hard moments, the great moments, lessons learnt and all that.

However, I feel like I have changed a bunch, and due to that change, the blog needs a bit of a change too. So, I'll be working on that, giving you guys some details on the changes that have been happening, and just working a little harder on this little piece of internet land of mine.

Happy Sunday!!!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Taking Care of a Sick Wife

O.K, so technically, I'm not a wife yet, I'm just engaged, but forget about that. This weekend I caught a pretty bad cold, luckily, Cappy was around to take care of took a bit of training but he got the hang of it.

I started feeling a sniffle coming on, and a fever too, all this while I was at I called Cappy and he picked me up after work and took me home, which saved me from having to walk all the way to the bus stop and getting on a bus. He did my dishes, made me warm apple cider vinegar and honey which is my "chicken soup" because I take it whenever I'm sick and set up my favorite DVD's for me to watch in bed, and basically left me all set up before he left.

Early morning he was already back, did my dishes from the previous night. Lectured me on not eating dinner that he left...he's got to understand though, that when I'm sick, I can't eat! Brought a few movies for us to watch, brought a million oranges, for a vitamin C kick. I was a bore to be around, honestly...I couldn't talk because of my sore throat and I was moody, but he was a good sport and stuck around.

Woke up feeling so much worse, so I sent Cappy on a Pharmacy run. I thought I'd tough it out and not take any drugs but by this morning I was screaming for painkillers...that meant we both missed going to Church, but there was no way I'd have been able to make it. I feel so much better, right now I'm just in bed writing and relaxing.

Best part of the past three days, a couple of hours ago we were watching Modern Family and something really funny happened, and I laughed, and he said, he missed hearing me laugh, how cute is that...then he said I sound like a teenage boy cracking his voice...that's how it goes, taking the good with the bad.

XO.... T.M

Friday, June 17, 2011

1 Year Bible :-)

It's been ages since I did a One Year Bible post, but I thought I'd share a couple of todays verses to mull over...
1Kings 18:21, " long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him."
Acts 11:9 "The voice spoke from heaven a 2nd time, 'Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.' "

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Benefits of a Boy BFF

You know my boy BFF, how about an update of his texts to me in different parts of the last couple of months...

On unrequited love...
"You are one great girl. You would be a bundle of joy to whoever gets to have you. You don't need to be the kind of girl who has to put clues together to give yourself hopes about anyone. If he is waiting for something to bang him on his head to realize the kind of treasure that you are then he is too dumb to be with you period!"

On me saying I've given up on love:
"I wouldn't want you to go through any kind of heartbreak. True love will surely come your way. Just hope and pray that you get to notice it and capture it once it comes your way."

When I met this guy...
"You've found your soul lock him up."

When I doubted this guy:
"He is not just a guy, he's your one true love. The man of your dreams"

Hehe...that one is yours unless you throw him away. He is sooo into you just as you are crazy about him. Its like a well drafted plan coming together. This is destiny."

I thank God for a lot of things, but today I thank Him for a friend like Joe. Where would I be without you!

Friday, May 27, 2011


So, a couple of things I'm working on. First, to stop using the word "like" in sentences. Its really a bad habit that I have to stop. Second is too stop using "so" to begin a sentence, like I do here.
Apart from that, I'm doing my CPA exams in about 9 days, and I can't focus at all, but I know some drive will kick in at some point. I also sent out a job application to what is probably my dream company that I hope I get to join. Tonight I've got life group and afterward was planning on going to the Mavuno Worship Night.

I kind of owe God on that one. The last time I went, I prayed for something really hard and I promised God if I got it I would go back...I honestly cannot express how happy and grateful I am that it seems to be working out and that God's answered my prayers, even though, honestly I gave up somewhere in the middle. Thank God also for grace, that covered that little blunder right up!!! :-)

A little thing that sucks though is that I have a bad track record when it comes to trusting God to work in my best interests. You guys know this about me. I tend to get a hope-high. I hate the crash that follows. This time though, I'm really trying to keep my focus on God. Its funny that we always worry so much about what will happen if bad times come, and never worry about the good times. What'll happen when success or that job, or relationship or kid or whatever else you've been praying 5 months for, you rejoice in God at that minute and forget him the next day?

I'm honestly terrified thinking that the very thing I spent months praying for, would be the very thing that would separate me from God. I found a very great devotional at Kerry Shook's website that explained that real joy is awakened in you when you give God not only your disappointments but also your prosperity. You see, when we get these little victories in our lives, they obviously cause happiness, but happiness, like every other human emotion is fleeting. Joy, is a fruit of the Spirit and a gift from the Father. If we give our little victories to God he turns them into triumphs and gives us joy in the process.

How can we use that job that we've gotten or that relationship that we've prayed for, or that child that you've hoped for for God's glory? Doing all you do with excellence is the first thought that comes into my mind.

"Every job you have to do, work at it with all your might as if working for the Lord" 

  • Do your job with zeal...let it be known that nobody works harder, respects more or tries harder than you.
  • Love your partner with zeal...let it be known that nobody loved more, cared more or was more "worth it" than you
  • Be a good friend...let it be known that you were always there whenever your friends needed you and you played a positive part in their lives

Whatever you do, be legendary. I believe that's where it starts, from the heart.

"If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames that I might boast, but I have not love, I gain nothing."
1 Corinthians 13:3

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

High School Stories

I went to a very public, very strict High School. It was a boarding School, actually top twenty Schools in the whole country, so academically it was great, but I repeat way too strict.

What happens when you stick 1000 girls in a confined area with no outside contact except an occasional letter from home, or if you were lucky, a cute boyfriend who played rugby in another school...hmmm...I digress. What happens, is girls go crazy!!!

Every Sunday night, we'd have different groups holding Bible Studies out in the quad in the middle of the two huge dormitory buildings. Every Sunday night at around 8 p.m, it began...

Screaming, applauding, laughing, or as we called them back then, "holy screaming", "holy laughter", "holy laughing"

Picture 12 year old me, because I went to school when I was 12, in this new place, away from home for the first time ever, Presbyterian-Raised, seeing all this!!! I was seriously freaked out.

Now I don't know if it was really the Holy Spirit or it was just emotions and adrenaline gone I usually just reserve my comments on all that stuff.

Monday after my first Sunday Night experience...we were in class, and we were being asked the "what do you want to be after school-and-how are you working toward it"

So, I was freaked out by the previous night and I was sure that if I didn't "step up" for God, I would surely go to hell. So, I raised my hand with tears running down my cheeks and said, "God has just told me I want to be a pastor" Guys, God had not told me anything, that, I'm sure of.

But, remembering that just got me thinking, why do we do what we do? Is it because everyone else is thinking, or out of fear like me, or because you truly enjoy what you do and can't picture yourself anywhere else.

What I've decided to do, is live on purpose, not accidentally. Like:

  • Do because I enjoy what I'm doing (although sometimes like now studying for my CPA I'm guessing I'll have to beg God for passion, because it's a means to an end)
  • Love because I truly love and because I can't picture doing anything else but loving the people God placed into my life

And so get the idea...

As We Keep On Praising We Keep on Rising

O.K Prepare yourself for the most awesome music video in the world!

So watching that, picture me jumping up and down dancing to this song! It's an awesome praise song, I love how they merge the pop beat with the ragga vocals...I could go on and on, but really do I have to?? It's an awesome song. It's titled Holy Ghost Fire.

According to the guys, it's inspired by:

Acts 1:8 "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Jude and to the ends of the earth."

What's more to say except,

"As we keep on praising, we keep on rising......."

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Complainers Remain, Praisers Give Reign

So this week I caught a sermon by Paula White and she talked about the verse, "I will bless the Lord always. His praise shall continually be in my mouth" It was an awesome sermon. She illustrated by using John the Baptist. John's father Zachariah. His name means "to look back" or something like that. John's name means, "to proclaim" God's plans for John were to make the way ready for Jesus, to proclaim the good news. He literally had to shut the past up (Zachariah going dumb) so that, you know His plans for John aren't interfered with. How funny is that! Pretty cool :-)

She also talked about how when they were building the wall in the Old Testament, God ordered that praisers be put in the middle of the mourners and the laborers. You can't build the future while mourning the past, and God Himself didn't want the laborers to be distracted. Their mourning would be covered in praise. In the same way we can't work on our future if we keep hanging on to the past. We have to cover our past in praise and look forward into the future. You can't get new wine if you're holding on to old wine skins.

So, I decided to apply this, "Praise God always" thing the past two days, and let me tell you, technically it's been a crazy couple of days, but every couple of moments I took a deep breath and said "God is always working for my good" and situations that would have seemed horrible, I realized I could handle.

So, dear readers, remember,

It's not all God-Sent, but it is all God-Used!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Mad Love Lounge

Mad Love Lounge is a concert here in Nairobi that spotlights urban youth gifted in gospel hip-hop and spoken word.
Now I am definitely not a stranger to Mad Love. I've been going on and off since the days they were based at Kula Korna (restaurant, Hurlingham) I've enjoyed each and everyone....and they brought International Artist "Da' Truth" to yeah, in short, I'm a fan.

Today however was legendary. I don't know if it was because I was still on a worship high from Church or because I had amazing company...whatever it was, todays' perfomances were on top.
Highlights were of course BMF who also performed at Church and who I got to meet. Eko dy da also has a couple of new tracks out "na na na na.....ghetto...." Mr. T and Saint P were also great. Number 8 the poet also did justice to the Spoken Word part of the night.

I'll do detailed reviews over the next couple of days,
coz thas how we do... (say that in like a hip hop tone lol) on The Sound : : going beyond the music and hype and finding the truth beneath the beats

Friday, May 20, 2011



So here's something you didn't know about me...I just started learning Italian. Now, you may ask, if you're going to learn a foreign language, why not learn something like German or French. Well my dears, French or German doesn't sound like this...

Le roso sono rosse, le viole sono blu, lo zucchero è dolce, e così sei tu. Ti amo.

That sounds way better than, Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. I love you. :-) Also, it's a beautiful know...from the I just want to.

So, dear readers, parla italiano? I'd appreciate the help :-)

Arrivederci! Un milione di baci

I Know Who I Am

O.K this Jeremy Camp song came at me at such a good time, I had to do a post. Today, right after I posted in the morning, I fell smack in the middle of temptation...yeah, and how I managed to avoid it, I don't know. Actually, I didn't 100% avoid it, I mean I was about to do it, but I stopped in the nick of time...I'm sorry for being so vague, but I'll explain at Paradigm later.

Anyway, this song captured me because he takes a break from looking up with all the worship tracks and takes a look inward at himself and his issues.

I can't find a video of this song to post, but the lyrics are:

I try so hard but I always fall short
So I've faced the truth of my weakness,
There's nothing good that I can bring forth, but I stand in the strength of your presence 
I've wasted time always trying to face things alone,
but I wait here now and I lay it all down

I know who I am and I know I'm not able to stand on my own 
I can't live all alone
So I'm taking my hands and I'm reaching them out
and I fall down, I fall down for you, and I fall down

In times of brokenness always you show the depth of love that you bring me
I'm kneeling down in your presence I know your source of life I'm receiving
I place myself in your arms that will always lead me
And I won't let go cause there's nowhere else to go
I don't know why the things I want to do I always run from now
Because I know apart from you there's nothing I can do
Where life will become new

Trust me its an amazing song, so if anybody wants it you can buy the CD Speaking Louder Than Before or just ask me if you see me on the streets.

Also you can check out Jeremy's YouTube for more awesome vidz.

Lyrics property of Jeremy Camp and his management. Check out their website for more.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Let It Fade

O.K so I haven't posted in a while, and that whole long sordid story was explained over at 20th Paradigm, but today I come back with a hit. I got Jeremy Camp CD's from a friend of mine and I loved almost every single song. Jeremy's been inspirational to me, as I said before, because of his personal experiences and despite all that he went through still trying to seek God and his purpose in the midst of that. His songs reflect growth and the power that God has to transform people through circumstances.

Now I've failed a lot when it comes to that last bit. My life is marked with rebellion and obviously, I'm scared of going back to that, especially now that I've experienced all that God's freely given to me. Despite this, what I did has left some scars, emotionally, physically...and I still have the same thought and reaction patterns I developed at that time, only now I have to remember to add a "What Would Jesus Do?" bit to them. It's hard carrying all of that responsibility. But, I stumbled across 1 Corinthians 5. The passage talks about how the love of Christ controls us, and because of that we have the help to no longer live for ourselves. I loved...

v. 17 So then, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; what is old has passed away – look, what is new has come!

The song is from the CD Beyond Measure

The theme that runs through the song is surrender, that we don't have to hold on to stuff or try so hard, in Christ, they will be gone and you will find rest...

Let this old life crumble, let it fade
Let this new life offered be your saving grace
Let this old life crumble, let it fade, let it fade

Lyrics and Video belong to Jeremy Camp and his management. Please check out his website, for more details :-)