Sunday, January 23, 2011

Counting The Cost Part 1

So where did we leave off? Oh, Ed's text message:

"I've tried to hold back a lot, but now I'll speak my mind. He has the nerve to want to face you? That's plain retarded. Hun, you got all a guy would ever dream or ever pray for. You're the complete package. It would be hard to think of any one who is more perfectly balanced and all-round in so many aspects. If a dude thinks that you need help from an 'earthly girl' then he sure as hell doesn't deserve you. You deserve a guy who lacks sleep cause he can't wait until morning to see you, who has the backbone to handle a strong and independent girl, a guy you can call your own. And that's not **** (the guy). Make sure you don't even cry over this guy. If at any one time you feel overwhelmed then leave me a message I'll call you and tell you so many stories you'll brighten up. Have a great day"

Let me explain the "earthly girl" part, when I confronted the guy for trying to use me to cheat on his girlfriend, he told me he couldn't decide because I was his "church girlfriend" and where wanted to see himself be, and the other girl was his earthly girlfriend. Scumbag!! [Oops, that just slipped out :-)]

But, how sweet are my friends, first BFF one, let's call her Emz (made up name), wrote me this, and now Ed with this other killer.

Can you blame me for crying in Church today. O.k I know I cry a lot, but this is just touching. I know that right now friends are few and come far between, but if this is what you get, then I thank God for it.

So, really, I don't think it will be easy to ever trust someone again...and this isn't like, I'm still hurt and hung up over my ex's that I'm letting them control my life....o.k maybe it is, but still, I don't think I'll ever trust someone again, or want to be in a relationship again. I know I write here about how I'm still in preparation and I'm still figuring out "me" but this week a really, really, really cute guy said hi to me. I've had a crush on this guy for YEARS and he finally said hi to me. Let me set it up for you. I was walking down the street, eating a hot sausage because I was late for school and I had to eat breakfast on the run. So with a mouth full of  hot sausage he decided that would be the perfect time to say hello after years of me crushing on him. Not just "hello" he struck up a conversation with this joke of how I'm walking for the first time, you know because my lazy self drives the 5 minute walk to the supermarket. I wish I could tell you what I said, but the memory has been suppressed because it was embarrassing and the pain in my tongue too excruciating. :-)

Anyway after the whole trying to respond to a joke with a burning tongue incident, I stated thinking how the old me would already be planning how the next time we meet on the street I would come up with another joke and we could start talking. But this me, doesn't ever want to see the guy again. Cute guys cheat. Hahaha, that's unfortunately my new mindset. I know it's wrong and I know I'll get grief for saying it, but I'd so much rather believe that and avoid the whole dating scene than date and, writing in a "Christian" blog is hard! lol) what's a word I can use.....get.....tossed around again and hurt.

And I was reminded of this;

*******to be continued*******

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