Wednesday, February 15, 2012

My Favorite Chapter

I know I've posted a lot of Bible stuff of late, but it's just one of those weeks where if I didn't have this to hang on to, I wouldn't have any hope of making it through o.k.

So this is my favorite part of the Bible, at least right now. Romans 8. I'll let it speak for itself; hope you get to the end :-)

(Rom 8:1-39 [NET])
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

v. 2
For the law of the life-giving Spirit in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death.

v. 3
For God achieved what the law could not do because it was weakened through the flesh. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and concerning sin, he condemned sin in the flesh,

v. 4
so that the righteous requirement of the law may be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

v. 5
For those who live according to the flesh have their outlook shaped by the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit have their outlook shaped by the things of the Spirit.

v. 6
For the outlook of the flesh is death, but the outlook of the Spirit is life and peace,

v. 7
because the outlook of the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to the law of God, nor is it able to do so.

v. 8
Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

v. 9
You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, this person does not belong to him.

v. 10
But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is your life because of righteousness.

v. 11
Moreover if the Spirit of the one who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you, the one who raised Christ from the dead will also make your mortal bodies alive through his Spirit who lives in you.

v. 12
So then, brothers and sisters, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh

v. 13
(for if you live according to the flesh, you will die), but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body you will live.

v. 14
For all who are led by the Spirit of God are the sons of God.

v. 15
For you did not receive the spirit of slavery leading again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry, “Abba, Father.”

v. 16
The Spirit himself bears witness to our spirit that we are God’s children.

v. 17
And if children, then heirs (namely, heirs of God and also fellow heirs with Christ) – if indeed we suffer with him so we may also be glorified with him.

v. 18
For I consider that our present sufferings cannot even be compared to the glory that will be revealed to us.

V. 19
For the creation eagerly waits for the revelation of the sons of God.

v. 20
For the creation was subjected to futility – not willingly but because of God who subjected it – in hope

v. 21
that the creation itself will also be set free from the bondage of decay into the glorious freedom of God’s children.

v. 22
For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers together until now.

v. 23
Not only this, but we ourselves also, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we eagerly await our adoption, the redemption of our bodies.

v. 24
For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope, because who hopes for what he sees?

v. 25
But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with endurance.

v. 26
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness, for we do not know how we should pray, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with inexpressible groanings.

v. 27
And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes on behalf of the saints according to God’s will.

v. 28
And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose,

v. 29
because those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.

v. 30 [NET])
And those he predestined, he also called; and those he called, he also justified; and those he justified, he also glorified.

v. 31
What then shall we say about these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

v. 8:32
Indeed, he who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, freely give us all things?

v. 33
Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies.

v. 34
Who is the one who will condemn? Christ is the one who died (and more than that, he was raised), who is at the right hand of God, and who also is interceding for us.

v. 35
Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will trouble, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?

v. 36
As it is written, “For your sake we encounter death all day long; we were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

v. 37
No, in all these things we have complete victory through him who loved us!

v. 38
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor heavenly rulers, nor things that are present, nor things to come, nor powers,

v. 39
nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

A Whole Lotta Bible Readin and Prayin

Weirdly enough I didn't realize it was Valentine's Day until I got to town this morning and saw at least 4 tents from flower vendors on every major street. It wasn't really eventful because I spent the entire day in class, doing assignments and back to class till around 8 p.m. Then I was stuck in traffic and got home an hour later. At least I got some sweets and a soda from a couple of my classmates :-)

Over the weekend, I felt like God was teaching me a whole lot about love. How unrelenting His love is, how forgiving He is, how He daily pours out His mercy and love.

(Rom 5:8 [NET])
But God demonstrates his own love for us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

 I realized the His love is freeing and was reminded of how nothing can separate us from the love of God.

(Rom 8:38-39 [NET])

38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor heavenly rulers, nor things that are present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I recognized all these things about God, and was totally convinced of His love for me and His good plans for my life.

Then today happened, and I realized, it’s so easy to trust God in the abstract, in a far off kind of way, but the minute my faith was tested, I didn’t believe God would work for my good. In fact my exact thought was, “God, I hope this isn’t another way to test me so I can learn a lesson.”

Then my loving God, brought this verse to my mind,

(Luke 11:11-13 [NET])

11 What father among you, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead of a fish? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13 If you then, although you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

So the deal is, I was sitting in class and suddenly I realized that “hey, some exam results have come out and I haven’t gotten any of mine yet. Oh, duh! I had my registration number changed when I transferred to my new Campus.” I already had my issues with marks that I’m missing and having these new issues to deal with, it just, honestly, breaks my heart, kills me. I’d already been praying for the issues I already had, then these new ones come to mind, and I was just like “God, really??? Wasn't this transfer what You led me to do? Then if that's the case, why all these complications?"

Then this led to me thinking about all the times God has “let me down” and for the most part I realized they were my fault, like when I prayed to pass exams and didn’t get what I wanted, or when I prayed for a relationship to work and it didn’t because I went my own way on that one, as in, for the most part I was part of the problem.

I don’t want to be that person who believes after she sees; I want to know that if I pray for a fish, I’ll get a fish, and not a scorpion to “test my courage” That’s not who Jesus said He is. I don’t know why it’s so hard to have faith in that, it’s crazy, my trust issues. I’m scared to raise my hopes and get them dashed.

My mom just told me that her favorite parts of the Bible are Psalms 23 and Psalms 27, and Psalms 27 just shows you how confident David was in God. Talk about immovable faith! He says how He was faced by enemies on all sides but in all this he finds time to tell God how much He loves Him and how he desires to spend more time with Him,

(Ps 27:4 [NET])
​​​​​​​I have asked the LORD for one thing – ​​​​​​this is what I desire! ​​​​​​I want to live in the LORD’s house all the days of my life, ​​​​​​so I can gaze at the splendor of the LORD ​​​​​​and contemplate in his temple.

(Ps 27:8 [NET])
​​​​​​​My heart tells me to pray to you, ​​​​​​and I do pray to you, O LORD.

(Ps 27:11-14 [NET])
​​​​​​​Teach me how you want me to live; ​​​​​​lead me along a level path because of those who wait to ambush me!

v. 12
​​​​​​​Do not turn me over to my enemies, ​​​​​​for false witnesses who want to destroy me testify against me.

v. 13
​​​​​​​Where would I be if I did not believe I would experience ​​​​​​the LORD’s favor in the land of the living?

v. 14
​​​​​​​Rely on the LORD! ​​​​​​Be strong and confident! ​​​​​​Rely on the LORD!

Anyway, this is my prayer this valentine’s day. God, I’m tired of believing you for other people, but not believing you for me. It makes me sad that we’re not where I thought we were, I don’t have faith in You or your ability to give me good things, I sing it, I tell people that, but in my heart of hearts I don’t trust you to work for my good and that’s my weakness, both when it comes to you and when it comes to the world. But, you say in Romans 8,

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness, for we do not know how we should pray, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with inexpressible groanings. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes on behalf of the saints according to God’s will. 28 And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose,

I pray you pray for me, your Spirit prays for me in this. It’s Valentines. I’m o.k. seeing everything but, I think I need your love and for my heart to be free to love you more than I need flowers and chocolates, and kisses and hugs, at least for right now J Speaking of trust, since it’s valentine’s, I think it’s o.k. to add a P.S wherein I ask you for my cute, guitar playing, worship singing, Jesus loving guy, to be o.k. and to keep on waiting for me, haha.

In Jesus’ name.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Picture of The Day

Because it's Valentines Day tomorrow and this is the mood I'm trusting God for...

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Friday, February 10, 2012

Picture of The Day

My Baptism, April 10th, 2011. Such an awesome day, spent with my mom at Mavuno

Considering Abortion

I've been wanting to do a post on this for a long time, only it's just a really heavy topic, and its one of those things where you have to get the words exactly right. You can wait a long time for perfection and it'll never come. But the gist of what I want to say is this.

Sometimes as human beings, we put ourselves in situations that question the very backbone of who we are. Unplanned pregnancy is one of them. There's a whole lot of debate going on about "women's freedom of choice" and "when does life really begin" I don't want to express my opinion on any of that, I don't even think I have an opinion on that.

It's just that this is a topic near and dear to my heart, because I've heard stories and I've been in situations where a girl and people close to me are tormented by this choice, fear of her parents, fear of losing her boyfriend, fear of the future, where the money will come from and all that. I know a girl who went through this, and what happened afterward nearly killed her. The procedure was unsafe, despite the numerous reassurances by the doctor her boyfriend paid for. She died too soon because she couldn't deal with the guilt. I was there, I was supposed to be her friend, to be her voice of reason, but I couldn't reach her. If I could have though this is what I would have said.

I pray that this post will somehow reach a girl who might be browsing Dr. Google, looking for a solution.

I promise you, things will be o.k. Yes, I can make that promise because, one thing I know is that God wouldn't have given you this situation if He didn't have a plan for you, and His plans are always for good. It's scary and it's devastating and your family might hate you and be disappointed, your boyfriend will probably leave, but doors will open for you in the most unexpected of places. Go to a great Church, find someone to hold your hand and support you and hold you accountable. Trust in God, pray continuously, love and fight for your child with everything you've got. You will make it through. I can't emphasize that enough, that you will make it through and that it'll be SO MUCH EASIER LIVING WITH YOUR BABY THAN WITHOUT HIM!

If you have made that choice and now you're trapped in that black hole and it doesn't seem like there's a way out. There is. God is bigger than your past and His grace covers all your sin. It'll be an uphill battle but you will find strength and healing. Don't lose hope. Don't believe that lie in your head that says your dirty and worthless and that you have no value. In God's eyes You ARE His child, His beloved. He wants to heal you and to draw you back to Himself.

I would love if you'd e-mail me or comment on this if you need to talk and I can send you my number and help in any way I can.

God Bless

xx Raha

Be The One

"I am going to be the one...the best that I can be...because that is how God intended it to be."

The sermon at Church this past Sunday blew my mind. Pastor M talked about Leah in Genesis 29 from verse 31. How she knew from the beginning Jacob (Jacobinho hehehe) didn't love her and she was for all intents less than 2nd best.

What she did is typical female behavior, had babies trying to win Jacob's love. Baby after baby she popped out. but Jacob still remained cold. Finally, she learnt that she wouldn't be dependent on Jacob anymore and named her last son Judah meaning "This time, I will praise the Lord"

So, I took all these notes I've laid down under this and promised to God to stay single for the whole year, if He would draw me closer ti Him. I want to be intertwined with God. I stood up and said that prayer with Pastor S. 20 minutes later, I was standing in line at the supermarket tears stinging my eyes when I saw a box of chocolates on those valentine's day stands, and realized, I wont be getting chocolates next week. I'm not kidding. Actual tears in my eyes over a box of chocolate.

But here's what I took home...not the chocolate, but the realization that, God made me, he made my heart. He knows everything about me. Who I want to be, (which hopefully aligns with who He made me to be) and who I was. He knows my desires, to be loved wholly, to love wholly, to be a great wife and an amazing mom, to have a family. He knows all these things about me, and he knew them from the beginning. 

I got in my own way, when I took life in my own hands, and tried to find that joy and contentment without him. It was a slippery slope, that ed me like Leah, to finding that next guy who would make me feel valued. I'm totally with her in saying, "Its's not this child, but oh, it has to be the next one." But, now 2012, no more insanity. "This time, I will praise the Lord." This time, I will run after Him, this time I will worship Him. This time, He will be my joy and contentment.

So yeah, I know it's the hugest deal making a promise to God, but I do. This is your year Lord. Its a completely faith move. I don't know what will happen, except that I will want to quit by June. But I'm relying on you for wisdom and strength.

My Notes
  1. Human beings are very different from cars, they behave differently under test conditions. (On Living Together before marriage) You can't be completely vulnerable.
  2. Transferring the responsibility for your joy and self-esteem to another human being is perpetually walking into insanity. Its time to shift my focus. Shifting focus from man to God is the only time He'll change you into who you need to be.
  3. Making a fool of yourself is the natural progression when you want to manipulate someone into meeting your needs for you.
  4. Desperate clingy women can only attract hard uncaring men.
  5. Are they the problem or is it me?
  6. Like attracts like. A relationship only compounds the state you were in before.
  7. If your broken, you attract broken people. They can't meet your needs, that's why they married you! It's a 2 patients and no doctor situation, 2 people bound never to satisfy each other. Complementary dysfunctions.
  8. Work on your issues...if you don't have health on your life, no one will bring it to you.
  9. This time, 2012, something is different. Things will change as you begin to work on you, you grow up, stand taller have an undeniable sense of God-esteem.
  10. Let's not perpetuate childish love which equates to lust. Mature people need to understand what it takes to relate to one another.


Wednesday, February 8, 2012


I don't really know how I got the idea to do this post. But, I see plenty of guys online posting their make-up secrets, like Angie Smith over at Bring The Rain, so, here's mine.

I’m not really a make-up kind of girl. I mean, I get done up when I’m leaving the house, but when I’m at home, I don’t really do much, and that’s something I’d love to change this year. Most of the time, if you “popped by” my house, I’d look “toe up, and smelling like ass” like Kendra Baskett said once. (Maybe not that bad…I hope)

Anyway, there’s not much you can do, or want to do in this Nairobi heat. It’s January so, its ranging from 27-34 degrees Celsius (82-93F) By the time you get to work, it’s like your face has melted off!

Anyway, when I’m going out to class or to run errands in town, I always start with a generous slather of Nivea Moisturizing Milk with Sea Minerals. I live and die by it, and when the heat strikes as mentioned, it gives me a glow, yeah, not a shiny oily nose, am all-over, rosy cheeks glow. I also like it because I have dry skin, and it gets rid of those dry patches. 

Also, I totally break out without exfoliating every couple of days or if I go in the sun without a good moisturizer. (For exfoliating, pretty simply, a face towel and body wash normally works great for me, but I use Nivea cleanser on special occasions)

I don’t really do concealers or foundations, because (thank God) I have pretty good skin most of the time. All I do is some blush, which I use Luron Tawny Beige color, and maybe if I feel like it, use some Luron compact powder on any shiny parts (T-Zone) as well.

Then I do some eye-liner under my bottom lashes, and do a neutral eye-shadow like a peach color. Then I do 1 or 2 coats of mascara if I have some time.

That’s basically it. I use Nivea Happy Time body lotion, shower gel, soap, lip-balm and deodorants. Finally, I am a body spray kinda girl, it pains me to buy perfume for myself and know how much ever squirt is worth! I use sprays from Yardley Cosmetics and right now I'm into Black Lace. I'm into citrus, kinda woody deep scents, rather than plain flowery scents. Despite my love for Yardley, I’d love a designer perfume for valentine’s, my birthday…..any occasion really, just don't let me know how much it cost.


Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Who He Is…Who He Should Be

  • He’s a strong Christian, continuously growing in His relationship with Christ. Jesus is takes first place in his life.
  • He laughs easily and has a great sense of humor.
  • He’s amicable and acclimatizes himself to any and all situations.
  • He’s a fun addition to my family.
  • He’s thoughtful.
  • He’s kind.
  • He’s sweet.
  • He enjoys loving people and doing nice things for them.
  • He’s unique and confident in standing out from the crowd.
  • He doesn’t want to play the dating game, isn’t a heartbreaker and believes the dating/courting relationship is for the purpose of finding his wife.
  • He’s encouraging.
  • He’s passionate about protecting those he cares about from any kind of harm.
  • He’s courageous.
  • He takes charge.
  • He expresses himself and he talks.
  • He’s a blessing to spend time with.

Monday, February 6, 2012

What I'm Thankful For

Totally stole this idea from Leslie (A Blonde Ambition), but I do have a lot to be thankful for. Lets start...

Source: via Jinie on Pinterest

I'm thankful for my mom. Get to spend lots of time with her, and she's teaching me a lot, about how to be responsible, what matters most, and tips on marriage and the future he he he. Also thankful that she pays for my 2 courses at my 2 schools, and I get to learn and grow with no pressure of how to afford it all.

I'm thankful for my Church, it helps me grow, I found a family there and a sense of belonging.

I'm thankful for school. I love both my schools.

I'm thankful for my family. I love my nephew to bits!

I'm thankful for hope renewed, opportunities restored and just faith that things will work out.

I'm thankful for my blog.

I'm thankful for my 2 readers from Ukraine.

I'm thankful for Jesus and my faith.

Who I am. Who I hope to Be

  • I want to have more than just a relationship with Jesus. I want Jesus to be number one in my life. I want to have unshakable faith. I want to be deeply involved in service. I want to have discipline in growing closer to God by reading the Bible, and devotionals. I want to have a rockin’ prayer life. I want to continuously grow in my relationship with Christ.
  • I want to have a great sense of humor.
  • I want to write inspirational posts, funny posts, posts that I’ll look back on and smile.
  • I want to be thoughtful of other people’s thoughts and feelings.
  • I want to be kind.
  • I want to be sweet.
  • I want to love and enjoy loving people and doing nice things for them.
  • I want to be unique.
  • I want to be confident in standing out from the crowd.
  • I don’t want to just date. 
  • I believe the dating/courting relationship is for the purpose of finding your spouse. I refuse to continue to play the dating game and break any more hearts or have mine broken.
  • I want to dress stylish, but modestly.
  • I want to be encouraging, not a downer.
  • I want to be not just bright but wise.
  • I want to be a blessing to spend time with.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Future Life Fridays...1. Family Life

I've decided to start a new series here called Future Life Fridays. Basically, if I could write a letter to myself in 20 years, what I'd like it to sound like, so I'm going to find people who inspire me and ask them for little interviews, what worked for them, and how they got there. Or if I find something that makes sense, I could feature it here.

This week though, I'm lucky enough have gotten my very first interview. Jane's been one of those people I've always looked up to, I guess in a lot of ways I'm trying to walk in her footsteps, because she's been inspirational to me. I met her, in a time in my life where I was in desperate need of advice and she looked upon me with love.

Today, I’m lucky enough to interview a woman, who I wish I could be in 15 years. At the age of 36, Jane has achieved career success, spiritual growth and best of all, has a loving and supportive family comprised of a doting husband, Gavin and 4 adorable kids. She’s truly one of the happiest people I know, and having celebrated their 10-year anniversary, part of the most amazing couple I’ve met. We take a look at her journey, celebrate and get inspired.

What would be your biggest piece of advice?
I’d have to say, the two P’s, patience and prayer. Patience in the sense that you can exercise the right to say no or to say wait. Those words are good enough for God, but people, especially girls don’t realize it’s good enough for them. I know that, because I didn’t realize it either. Don’t jump from one relationship to the next, wait a while and rebuild yourself. Don’t say yes to a relationship right away, take a while and douse it in prayer. Don’t say yes to sex, don’t allow that to be the pinnacle of your relationship, save it for your wedding night, trust me, all those rumors and lies the world spout of how you’ll end up incompatible or whatever, honey it’s a lie. Build your lives together first, then let that be the icing on the cake. I mean, good things take time. Prayer comes along every step of the way. Before every move you make, pray. Pray together. It’ll help you stave off temptation and I cannot describe the connection you make.

What were you looking for in a man?

I guess I can split that into two. What made me notice a guy was if he was attractive to me, a Christian and if he was a positive hustler (laughing)…

Wait, what’s a positive hustler?

Ha, you caught that? A positive hustler is like, a guy whose driven, smart, bright, you know, who has other stuff going on other than, you know, his job, like involved in other hopefully income-generating activities. I looked for that, because I knew myself. I’m a dreamer. I have all these big ideas and I need someone who’s a realist who’ll say, this is the way we can do this and achieve this, or no, that’s not something we can do.

Ok, what else were you looking for?

Well, apart from those three. I think the rest wasn’t really what I was looking for, but more of, as I got to know someone, what would make me love them, what would make me theirs. I think the Christian part encompasses those things, patient, loving, kind, generous, faithful…just someone who’d understand me, my sense of humor, my stories, my personality, was affectionate and someone who would fight for me, rather than flee at the first sign of trouble. Like if I said no at his request would he be mad and stomp off? If I said, I’m not ready for sex with you and I want to wait, would he jump into bed with someone else and dump me the next day? Someone who fights for you will fight for your relationship and ultimately fight for your family and your marriage.

What are some of the practices you can say have made your marriage work?

There’s so much! I have to say, that we pray. It’s not easy for us, we both work and have kids and at the end of the day, we just want to get in bed and sleep. So, recognizing that, we have a little devotion book we read from and a prayer that we write out every week at our therapy session covering our issues for that week and we just quickly say that at the end of the day. It’s not perfect, trust me, sometimes we’re half-asleep, sometimes we’re mad at each other, but we have to do that, and kiss goodnight and say I love you. Then, we read to our kids, and most of the bed-time stories, at least all for the two youngest kids, are all Bible stories.

You mentioned therapy. How did that start? Why do you need therapy, when you seem so happy?

We are at a great place in our marriage, and we’d like to keep it that way (laughing) Our therapy, started out as going to pre-marital and marital classes and seminars and just anywhere we could get  information to help us grow. I have to admit it started as me forcing him to go! After a while, it got enjoyable, especially when we took on a more involved role as mentors for pre-marital classes, and we started talking. It opened our communication to another level. We learned word like,’ love languages’ and ‘disappointed’ and ‘disagree’ rather than give each other the silent treatment or shout at each other to communicate. The therapy is just an avenue to air issues out and as an added bonus, have this uninvested third party help us keep a level head and make decisions that are best for both of us, not one of us. Sometimes selfishness gets in the way, especially after you’re used to someone, you get more comfortable being selfish and its good sometimes to have someone to shame you into doing the right thing. Also we agreed from early on, we don’t discuss our issues with anybody else but God. There’s a pressure that family and friends can create that we recognized would hurt us. God, just happened to use our wonderful doctor recommended to us by our Pastor.

What are some other practices you’ve developed in your marriage?

For me, one thing I try and do is set the mood for the day. I heard my daughter say to our nanny once, “Mommy’s in a bad mood, so daddy’s in a bad mood, so I’m in a bad mood” and it killed me. So, I wake up in the morning, kiss everyone good morning and be as bright as can be, then I go into the car and be as moody as I feel, go to work and perk back up, go to the gym and work it out, get home and kiss everyone hello. I just want my kids to think of me as a happy person and my husband to look forward to coming home, you know?
Another is having a date night. Therapy is good for this, because we have our one hour session and go out after, so we know that time of the week is blocked out. My daughters also go on a date with their dad and their brothers every other late Saturday afternoon. We agree it’s important that our daughters know how precious they are and know how they deserve to be treated and for our sons to learn how to be gentlemen. Sunday is for the family. On Saturdays, before their dinner, I hang out with the kids; it can be watching movies, girly days in, or watch their sports or play video games, or play dates and parties or whatever else may come up. During the week we try to have one on one time for the kids…control freak that I am, I have a little chart for that. It’s not that I need it, or that I don’t remember which of my kids I hung out with, it’s just to keep track because I know how important it is to feel that one on one time.
We’re also affectionate with our kids and really as open with them as we can be at their age. We hope to model the right kind of love for them and make them feel secure in the family. Which is also why we don’t argue, or rather raise our voices in front of the kids. It’s great because, it give us time to sort of cool our heads down so we aren’t mean and hurtful. I mean you have a tiff and it could be anywhere from a few minutes to a couple of hours before you can get away from the kids to address it. We’ve sometimes resorted to passing notes or texting sometimes, it’s funny but I like it.

What was dating like for you?

It wasn’t all rules like it seems, trust me! We had fun, we went out on normal dates, and a couple of not so normal ones, just fun and out of the box. We met at a time in my life where I’d been single for a while, kind of recovering from a series of bad choices I’d made in a past relationship and just trying to build my life back up, determine what I wanted to do, build my faith in God, and just try to recover form a hard time and a period in my life I’d made so many mistakes and my self-value was shattered. I was just taking time to get back some sense of worth, and God just helped me see that despite all I’d done and how badly I’d made a mess of me, I was still precious in His sight. He came when I was just beginning to be whole again. It took a while before I was open to the idea of being exclusive, I wanted to know he was worth it, and he was.

You have 4 kids. How has having kids change the dynamic of you relationship?

Yeah, I have two boys and two girls; they are roughly 2, 4, 6 and 8. We were definitely scared about how having kids would change us, because we’d been married for a couple of years and we already had our own groove and routine and life was seemingly perfect. Especially because we wanted to space our kids like that, as closely as healthily and financially possible, we expected it would be a lot of work and we didn’t know if we were ready. Our first child was definitely God kicking us out of the nest to see if we could fly. It was definitely God-planned and miraculous in so many ways, and we just had to go from there. Seeing how Gavin totally transitioned into this new role, was incredible. There were times I even tested him to see how far he would go like, midnight cravings of roasted corn on the cob, and my sweet babe would throw some in the microwave and char them up a bit with our kitchen blowtorch so it looked authentic, (at the time I didn’t know the blowtorch bit, and I thought he’d actually grilled them) It got to a point though where I felt so guilty because after one of my midnight runs he overslept and he was late for a really important meeting at work. Needless to say, I’ve never craved anything that I couldn’t get for myself again! Anyway, during my pregnancies, he became really nurturing and just let that side of him come out more. He became extremely protective, of what I ate, where I went, how I felt, stretching his arm out across me on the passenger seat when we hit a road bump, just making sure we were safe.
Once the kids came, just seeing how he was with them, how involved he wanted to be, made me love him so much more. Of course there’s no way I can look at my kids and see those little resemblances traits they share and not love him more.

What are your parenting principles?

I wouldn’t really call them principles, we’re still new at this and there’s a lot of trial and error. I guess some stuff that we’ve established is that we want our kids to be close, so despite how big of a house we’ll ever have, our girls share a room and our boys share a room. It’s a challenge because the baby may wake up the older one, but it works most nights, and it makes the older kid feel a level of responsibility. Another is that feeding times aren’t just mommy time; I pump, oh gosh, sorry too much information! (Laughing) Anyway, so my hubby gets a chance to feed the babies and for the older kids, we try to split it as much as possible. We don’t want a case where if one of us isn’t home, the kids won’t eat because they’re only used to the other parent feeding them. Another is that our marriage comes first as much as possible, happy mommy and daddy, happy home. We’re lucky enough to have family and help who are willing to take on 4 kids under the age of 8 to babysit so we can have some time alone. Then we spend as much time as we can with our kids, love on them, teach them and show them the benefits of relying on God, not just in words but in actions and just to be there for them in spite of anything.

Any last words?

I truly thank God every day, just for providing these ideas from people who’ve gone before us, and for giving me a handsome husband who’s patient with me and tries them, as much as they drive him crazy. I think he’d do anything for us and to ensure our well-being, as a couple, and as a family. He’s our kid’s hero, he’s my superman and that’s not something I take for granted. I usually joke around that Mexican soap operas and fairytales have nothing on me, and it’s a joke, but that’s how I choose to look at my life. I’m just thankful for him and what we’re building.

(editors note: she actually said handsome instead of husband lol)