Saturday, June 23, 2012

I Made The Worship Team!

I made the worship team…how crazy is that?! 

I am seriously freaking out. I’m trying to get my mom to be excited for me, because I’m not excited, and I need someone to be excited for me so this seems normal. I wasexcited for about 2 minutes, which was followed by an “Oh My Gosh! I’m actually doing this?”

My mom goes like, “So you should start preaching here in the house.” Or, “When I’ll be excited is the day you pray when we have visitors or we’re having dinner or breakfast” Way to kick a girl out of the nest mom! Maybe though one day soon, I will just pop up at one of her Small Groups and say, “Hi, I want to pray for you guys…” Probably not anytime soon, but you never know?!

This has from the start been always about more than getting up on a stage to sing. To be honest, I could be happy not to – ok, maybe not, I do love to worship, and I think edging toward God and waiting for Him to make His move is amazing, and being a part of that is my dream. 

It’s not about the stage though. It’s about having a chance to actually grow, and do something that will help someone like me. It’s about changing the face of worship, and going back to the heart of it. It’s about getting to a place where we’re not just practicing, but experiencing.

So, on this day, when my voice has moved out of my shower and into the real world (just kidding shower, you know your my number one!) I want to write down what I hope comes out of this whole thing.

1.       Life-changing friendships
2.       A heart that seeks after God, and like I always say…to get so drenched in the Holy Spirit, I’m leaking it everywhere I go
3.       To write music out of the overflow
4.       To teach/equip and lead a class
5.       To figure out my ministry stuff
6.       Mostly though, to get closer to God. Maybe it’ll be in seeking Him in daily private worship times; maybe it’ll be in finding Him through friends and band-mates (ah! Band-mates!), maybe it’ll be through music…whatever it is, however it comes, I just need that and want that so bad in my life. Not to be committed because it’s routine, but to be committed because I can’t be any other way.

Anyway, I am nervous, but I am excited. Thank God for amazing supportive friends. I think Michelle and Prossy believe in me and this ministry more than I do, which is always what you want right? There all like, “You’re doing this. This is the first step. You are actually doing this.” It’s amazing, so I guess I am. This isactually step one!

Romans 8:15 - For you did not receive the Spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the spirit of adoption by whom we cry our ABBA FATHER

So tonight, I just want to pray…
God, I am so excited about making it. I pray above all else just for Your Spirit and God just ridiculous intimacy between the two of us, that I hear Your voice and Your heartbeat. I just want to get close to You Godotherwise, none of it matters. This is it God, am doing this, stepping out of the comfort zone, striving for more with You; this is where it all begins right? Please, please, please just be with me. Help me figure You out, and figure this out and be where You want me to be. I tear down any walls of fear or discouragement or discontentment or any other thing that strives to come between You and me, in Jesus’ name. Lord, I pray that You will walk through the walls and surround me with Your Light. I release creativity and courage and Your Power. I pray for Your wisdom and discernment, and boldness, and voice. I pray for whatever person you called me out for. I pray that what I’ve received, I’m able to give freely as You have. I pray for Your spirit and that I always remember Your name has so much power and You can break every chain. Jesus it’s in Your name I pray. Amen.”

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