Sunday, October 14, 2012

Faith / Quarter Life Crisis / God

I won't lie, these last couple of months have just been tough. I find myself having a headache every Sunday afternoon because the thoughts just come piling on!

Quarter-Life Crisis is a REAL thing ya'll!!!

Anyway, I feel like God's put it on my heart to grow my faith. Everyday I see, read, hear stories of how God did something miraculous in someone's life and I'm like "Yayy! God, thats awesome" but at the back of my mind it's like, I believe God can do stuff, crazy amazing stuff, just not for me. That's a sinful attitude to have in a way, because,

  1. it's calling God a liar, 
  2. it's putting your own pride/lack of faith/devil's lies above God's truth, 
  3. it's diminishing the work of Jesus on the cross since He died so that we could get the glory and live in the promise of being sons and daughters to God. Sons and daughters don't get "barely enough to survive on". They get to enjoy everything their parents provide for them.

If for example, I believe I'm called to do something, despite the fact that there's no earthly way that it's possible for me to do it, yet, I know God prepared me and led me to do this thing, why should I stress and agonize over how it's gonna get done, the nitty gritty of it, almost like telling God, "OK,'re going to do this, pull this string, talk to this person, open that door, and then you can do what you said you'll do, got it God?"

Then God's like, "Sorry, could you just go slower, I'm taking notes, so after I pull this string who do I talk to?"

NO! Can you imagine?!

Me. Joanne Furaha. 22 years old. Mistake-maker. Regret-haver. Rude, Sarcastic and Defensive. Basically imperfect only made perfect by His works not mine. Joanne, giving instructions, making a plan for, the planner of planners, {sunrise, sunset, seasons, tides so surfers can surf, oil discovered just as Kenya is planning Vision 2030} really?

Anyway, so I'm going to force myself to just chill AND get filled up on His "juice".

Don't get me wrong, I'll still pray for stuff to happen. I'll still buy the proverbial "lottery ticket" but, I won't stress. {Remember the story of the guy who prayed everyday for years, 'God let me win the lottery'; finally God comes down and says to him, 'Dude, please go buy a lottery ticket'}

We say at Mavuno, when God shows up, there's a showdown. So, I'm going to focus on God showing up in the day to day devotion life, prayer, worship and then in the other "seemingly impossible" stuff, to just let Him come and do what he does.

The Complicated Mind of Joanne
I read this blog post the other day that really reflected what I'm saying, here's a clip and please click here to read the rest.

I believe when a word is released, there is also a grace released for whatever was said, to be. 

I love the story of Jesus and Peter walking on water. The disciples are on a boat in the middle of a storm and Jesus walks on water towards the boat and says "Take courage, don't be afraid, it is I. Come." And Peter gets out of the boat and starts walking on water towards Jesus. 
Ahem. Let's just pause for a minute...

... a bunch of guys are on a boat in the middle of a storm. A STORM! And they were SCARED! And then, out of nowhere, Jesus appears on the water... NOT in a boat on the water... but WALKING... like.. with His feet... ON TOP OF THE WATER! And THEN He says "Don't be afraid, come". Come walk on this water in the middle of this scary storm. 
Except He DIDN'T actually say "Come walk on the water in the middle of this scary storm." 
He said "Don't be afraid... come."

We've heard this story many times... and we know how it ends. But Peter didn't. We know that Peter doesn't die that day. We know that He walks on water and then when he takes His eyes off Jesus and focuses on the storm instead, he begins to sink. But Jesus reaches out and He saves Peter.  What Jesus says next just amazes me. He doesn't say "Oh Peter, good job. That sure was a scary storm!" Or "Gosh, I'm sorry for having you come out on the water in the middle of that storm... that wasn't very nice of me."
Jesus says "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" Why didn't you trust in ME?

Jesus told him not to be afraid, and He expected Him to listen... to believe... 

I think of so many things in my life that scare me... dreams that I'm stepping in to, roles that I'm taking on... and Jesus has asked me to trust Him, to believe Him, to follow Him. 

He expects me to listen.
He expects me to follow Him.
He expects me to respond with faith.. because HE has released grace for me.

I had a dream a few months ago where a Lion came into my house. I was so afraid and ran upstairs closing all doors behind me. The last place I could go was the bathroom and I shut the door. I could hear the lion coming up the stairs and I KNEW that He had the power to break in. Sure enough, He broke down the door and there I was standing face to face with Him. But to my surprise, He wasn't a scary Lion... He was friendly! In fact, instead of His tail flickering like lion tails usually do, it was wagging with excitement... like a happy puppy! I realized in the dream that it was a friendly lion! Still SO powerful, but friendly and happy! In the dream, the lion said to me, "you are too afraid"... and I knew He was beckoning me to step away from fear , and to step IN to COURAGE

So what now?
 Storms and scary circumstances come in each of our lives. We can stay in the boat, or we can lock our gaze on Jesus and move towards Him. I know that no matter how scary and impossible a situation looks, that Jesus is my safe place. He is faithful, He is good, and He is a powerful, friendly Lion :) So... I'm getting out of the boat. I'm locking my eyes on Jesus, and moving closer to Him for the rest of my life....

Here's to walking on water... :)

Right, so come and do what You do God!


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