Wednesday, October 17, 2012

We Interrupt Scheduled Posting to Bring You...

...the worst week in history!

I've tweeted a whole bunch about the past two days being a royal suckfest...

Tuesday Night:

Wednesday Morning:

Wednesday Afternoon: Wherein I was crying in a bathroom stall in City Campus

The worst of it, or the most confusing of it was that that Tuesday, we normally fast as a Mizizi class all day. Speaking of which I even missed my Mizizi class!!! I woke up with crazy syk, totally pumped up, spent like an hour and a half just praying, reading the Bible, worshipping, then I step out of the door and BAM! It all came crashing down...I got caught in a lie with a friend, I had issues registering with school, had to schlep across the city for a class at another campus, the matatu (bus) conductor guy told me he was going to one bus stop (B.S) and he stops the bus at another bus stop 15 minutes away from where I needed to be (OTC) so I had to walk in the hot midday sun, more issues with registration, police through tear gas at some demonstrators so I'm sneezing and coughing through town. Yeah.

Today, woke up for class to the other campus away from the city. Managed to get some notes so I'm like, wow, ok maybe today won't be so bad. Get back to the city, and BAM! Registration issues again, it turns out, I'm not allowed to go to classes at 2 campuses at the same time...ummm....should have told me that before I started attending classes don't you think?! Anyway, I'm just beyond pissed off and just sad. Actually I'm not sad anymore, I'm over it. My mom who should be sad, cause well, she pays the fees, is like, "Get over it! Take life as it comes" and you know what, I will.

Anyway, just thought I'd write this all down so that I can remember I went through this and came out OK in the other side {hopefully}

This whole trying period was good though, this morning I just had to google, "Is it normal to live for God and still have horrible days?" I mean, I was confused and mad, like where's the benefit, if I can spend an hour with God and proceed to have absolutely no favor that day?

The thought/voice/answer/whatever you'll call it, came so clear to me,

It's not about WHAT I have to face, it's about WHO I have to face it WITH!

That's the benefit. God is love, He's not out to ruin my day or not protect me from irritation. I guess I had to learn that I'm not praying/fasting/serving in Church or any of it for what I can get out of it. I'm doing it because LOVE, is utterly in love with me, and I never walk alone...(liverfools! lol)

Anyway, all this inspired the following letter, originally intended for God, but, find your own meaning.


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