Saturday, January 5, 2013

It’s Okay

I jokingly told my mom how January feels like Monday morning when the alarm rings and you can’t imagine it being the weekend again. I was a little worried with all the demands that would come with this month, figuring out the whole year. Can someone maybe write a self-help book on that?

I’ve spent the last week at my sister’s house babysitting my 2 y/o nephew since my sister was in the hospital delivering my new niece. So the whole week has been changing poopy diapers, running to the potty barely in time to avoid any “wee-wee” incidents, singing the Jake and the Neverland pirates and Spongebob theme songs, trying to make cleaning look fun so the kid would join me when I had to get stuff in order-dishes, floors, tickle fights, cuddles, dancing on the floor and so on and so on. Motherhood is tough; you have to be on 24/7. Everybody dreams of being able to be a stay-at-home mom, but after this week…ummm…:-/

Today’s Saturday and my sister just got back from the hospital, and I’m in the bedroom in a crying mess and blogging. Man, I’m just so emotional. I don’t know if it’s the new baby finally getting home and it hitting me that my nephew isn’t the baby anymore or just relieved that these months have ended so successfully, or what.

Then there’s just all this other stuff going on where, I wanna be the best at everything I do. I want to be the best daughter and save my mom money by finding cheap deals for my tuition/fees. I want to be the best sister and the best aunt to my nephew. I want to be the best girlfriend (whenever God decides to bless this single girl with a good boyfriend), I want to be the best worship leader, I want to be the best friend, I want to be the best Christian, and I want to be the best girl. WTH?! Who can live up to all of that? Yet, when I fail at one of them, I get stressed and emotionally charged.

You know how Oprah and these self-help gurus keep saying, “center yourself”, “find your own space and focus on your mantra”, or, “take time off and recharge” or other such rhetoric, I NEED TO KEEP REMINDING MYSELF OF THE SAME THING! 

Hopefully yelling at myself like this will work?

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