Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Joy In Spite of Myself

I feel like I need to talk about two things today. First of all, I’ve learnt from experience today, that God will use you not because of who you are but in spite of it. One way or another, He’s gonna do what He intended to do for the good of his children on the earth. 

To be honest, I’m about as imperfect as they come. In my own life, I make mistakes every day. Even as a blogger I don’t set out to promote my blog or get more readers or any of that, I just write for me and hopefully at least 10 people who read from Russia JYet, God uses the words I write on this blog to remind me months later of a lesson I learnt or a way that He’s shown me grace. He uses me in spite of my imperfections, mistakes, failures and all.

Not just me but people around me. A stranger can do or say something that moves me in the right direction; say something that resonates with where I am in my life and what I need to hear. Those strangers might not end up being life-long friends; maybe God intended them for that one moment and one conversation. Relationships may not always end in the way you’d want them to, I know for me, I rarely ever go into a relationship thinking that it’s going to end, but truth is sometimes or for me every time so far, they do end. I can’t realistically spend every couple of months sad and depressed thinking woe is me, the world is against me. I need to realize that sometimes, I may take detours of m own will and end up in a mess, but God uses them each time as a way of getting me back on track.
Bill Johnson says we owe the world an encounter with God. We may not always be aware of it, we might not always give the best impression, but thankfully, God can use us despite our mistakes and imperfections or current state of being. The trick for maximum impact is to realize this and align ourselves in the direction that He’s moving instead of against it.
I also need to speak about joy. Last year was the best year of my life. He alignment I was talking about happened in so many areas of my life. I obviously messed up at some points but for the most part, 2012 was the year that I can say I finally got a glimpse of who God is and realized that n matter what I do, His love for me is passionate and strong and He has plans for me and my life.
He created me the way I am for a reason. The fact that I can still believe in love and still believe that life can be joyous after everything I’ve been through is a gift. I so easily could be like millions of people who are bitter and depressed, wait, I was one of those people, but look at me now. It’s nothing short of grace. Beni Johnson wrote that when we meet circumstances with joy instead of tears, think of the confusion that fills the enemy camp.
The past 2 weeks have been tough on me. Things that I hoped would happen didn’t happen and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt and disappointed and maybe lingering in bed a little longer so that I don’t have to wake up and face the day. I’m focusing on joy and peace. This isn’t to say I don’t get moments of panic/anxiety/sadness/balancing tears/negativity, because I do. The next few days will need me buried a little deeper into my family and into blogging and into God because that’s what I need right now to get through it. One thing I’m holding onto is that the past 2 months haven’t been a total waste and somehow good will come out of this whole thing.

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