Friday, October 11, 2013

My Punch in Fear's Nose

I am so disappointed in myself for not keeping up with this blog. Life has been incredibly exciting and I should be chronicling all of this, but between school, homework, Bible reading, Hulu and trying to get a life ;-) this blog fell way behind. However, it was sort of a good break and I feel like now I can come back with a bang and a second wind & get this back on track.

I am honestly so full of joy and excited over what God's been doing and what He continues to do. Right now, I have no great goals to accomplish because everything I set out to do through this year, God has already come in and blown my little ideas out of the water and given me so much more.

I struggled my 1st month here, getting used to being away from home and away from life as I knew it. The culture shock was crazy - no amount of blog reading or TV watching will prepare you  for being submerged in this (way) different culture, but to be honest I love it. I love being asked where I'm from and having a story to tell and meeting all these people who have a heart for Kenya! My country is in good hands & hearts.

The more I'm here, the more my heart is stirred to travel. I've never pictured myself as being confident or strong enough to survive in another country...forget America, America is easy and diverse, I'm talking Asia or Russia or Scandinavia...but the more I'm here and interact with my AMAZING Revival & Small Groups, the more I am so excited to go and I pray God enables me to travel to those countries and continue to live this dream of going around the world, seeking Him and learning & teaching His love.

Like I said, my expectations have been blown away as far as what I think I came here for, now I'm at a place where I'm asking for more and expecting nothing but greatness. Do I know what I want to do for the rest of my life? Yes and No. Simply because I've come to realize my carefully mapped out life won't work in this environment. I truly believe whatever I choose, I am being empowered to make maximum impact. Whether it's leading worship, writing, teaching, preaching, marketing, prophesying, being a wife & mom, all of it. I'm growing in my confidence daily & that in itself is a miracle. It's freeing, scary and exhilarating and this is a wonderful season.

My immediate goal is to rally potential BSSM students from Africa and encourage them that the door is wide open and waiting for YOU. Something incredible is growing from here. This is an army rising up. We may not be the best or the only choice out  there, (although I believe we are ;-) wink) but there is definitely something tangible rising out of here. God is moving really powerfully and I believe He's releasing generals into Africa through BSSM. If you have any questions please feel free to let me know.

Financially, it has been a challenge. I haven't enough money to start putting toward my mission trip nor to my 2nd year tuition, to be honest, even my rent & expenses after December. I've learned though that I don't have to carry the load on my own, and I am so thankful to be surrounded by an army that's ready and waiting for a call to action. I'll be working on some support letters and I hope to send those out pretty soon. In the meantime, please email me or check out the links on the sidebar if you are wondering how you can contribute and sow into this vision and partner with me.

More than anything, I ask for your prayers. I really ask for your prayers. We are taught to kick fear in the face here, but I can only kick so much until my legs grow weary and I need an extra boost. The Holy Spirit is that boost and I need your prayers over me. The fact that I'm writing this and putting my heart sort of out there is a left hook on my part :-) He makes me brave.
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